Today I am going with my brother in law Kirk (Brett's twin) to pick up Brett's remains from the Cremation Society of Michigan. Along with his remains, I will be getting my certified copies of his death certificate. I'm not sure which bothers me more.....driving home with my husband in a box or looking at his death paperwork. Lets just say I'm really not looking forward to this. I am well aware of the reality of his death but something about having an official piece of paper on it scares the shit out of me. I will now have in my possession both his birth certificate and death certificate. What the fuck? thats just not right or fair.
I can not believe how long these 9 days have felt like. It seriously feels like a million years since I've seen his smile, kissed his lips, gotten a big bear hug (he was so skinny but he always gave the BEST hugs). I feel like time has literally stopped. Now its April and the weather is getting warmer and all I can think about is how Brett and I would be walking the dogs everyday together. Shortly before he died, we took the pups on a long walk and I keep replaying that moment in my head. I keep seeing him standing there by the trees with a big smile on his face. What the fuck happened? it all disappeared so quickly. I can't stress enough to everyone reading this how short life is. Even though Brett had cancer so death was a little more of a reality to us than most, it can still happen to anyone at anytime. Of course I hope it doesnt happen but please be aware that anyday.....things can change forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment